So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize