My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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