If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
love makes seman taste better
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
