Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
