and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
