Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
