Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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