I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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