I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
