When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
