found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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