in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
