Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
