The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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