At least make sure they are 18
Why
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
