At least make sure they are 18
Why
Your dad touched me again.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
