I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You can't motorboat a personality
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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