Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
