You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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