Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
