I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
