You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Rumble strips road head = magical
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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