I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
