I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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