Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My vagina is very pro this idea
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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