And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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