Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
