Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize