she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
