That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
