dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
