You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
