You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
