If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
