so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
