2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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