Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
