Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
