College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
