I smell stomach acid.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
