Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
