ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
