Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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