is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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