like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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