She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
