Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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