Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
