there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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