thus making me awesome and them whores
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
