im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
