I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
