i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
