Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
