The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
