worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
