i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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