Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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