You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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