I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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