it hurts more in the daytime
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize