you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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