the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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