Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize